He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I lost the right to judge tonight
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize