He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
