I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
