And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
