it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
