shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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