I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
