I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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