I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Swine flu is the new snow day.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
