we have officially lost it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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