You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
