did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
