Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize