Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
