So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
