She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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