Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
