He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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