It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
