4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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