did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize