we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
