Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?

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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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(317): View more from Indiana

What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?

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(205): View more from Alabama

Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.

(503): View more from Oregon

Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

(302): View more from Delaware

yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

(302): View more from Delaware

wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

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(419): View more from Ohio

Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.

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(562): View more from California

And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.

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