I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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