He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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