Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
