So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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