That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
