ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
