when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
