My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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