i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
