omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
