i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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