is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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