i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
