WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
