Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
