he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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