that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
