i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize