Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
