Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
