shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
