that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
