I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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