I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize