yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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