I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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