i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
