Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
