I want to have your abortion
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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