My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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