anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
