We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
