I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
