32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
