You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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