i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
home. puking in laundry basket.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
