we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
