Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
