so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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