omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
