nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
