im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
