You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize