I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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