i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
