I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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