I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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