I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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