Don't you send me to vm
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
