We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
