did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
