Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
