she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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