Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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