Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
