Taylor Swift is so right about you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
